Filling the Void

I didn't write down a date for this one, but based on it's placement in my journal, it must have been written around Elul 5772.

This entry comes with the following note I wrote in the margin just above it:
"Upon completing my reading of the final installment of the Artemis Fowl series at half past midnight...*some sentimental junk about my location, which does not interest you at all*...after loyally following the series for I don't even know how many years."

I was really disappointed with the last book. In fact I was disappointed with every book afer The Lost Colony. What happened to Minerva? Where did your writing skills go, Eoin? Why did you abandon the world of classic Irish lore for a technologically advanced society? And when did you sell your soul to marketability, casting away your characters personalities to make them more entertaining? Artemis and Holly? Seriously? Eoin, you're supposed to be the author, not a fanfiction writer.

As you can see, after reading this book I was frustrated with the author. Anyway, here's the poem I wrote about it at the time. It reads a little stream-of-consciousness-y, and it's really more about growing up than it is about Artemis Fowl.
_________________

Life is like a book.
It begins fresh and exhilirating
and the pages of your childhood
fly by with nothing
particularly exciting happening,
but that nothing
sets up the rest
of the book, and the rest
of that book
is based on it so that when it ends
(for it will end)
it is perfect.
It is consistent and whole
with plenty of room left
outside it for the imagination
to fill.

Then comes the sequel.
New foundations emerge,
new characters appear
and old characters
slowly change,
shaped by the events
they helped shape
through the third,
fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh
eigth and ninth books
until you realize at the end
that the same characters
are not the same
anymore.
Their circumstances are different
and all the void around
is filled
by their awareness of it.
Omnicient, they are no longer innocent.

Well-lived past, uncertain future.
The absence of friends
and aquaintances outside themselves
now filled with knowledge
of history,
of people, places,
experiences.

Was Gd different
at the beginning?
Did the introduction
of my character change Him?

I wish sometimes that
I could go back to the pages
of my childhood
as easily as
I can turn back the pages
of a real book.

All voids must fill
or the Earth will stand still
My void is filling.
Is it against my will?