Wanting to Want

Have you ever felt it?
Knowing you should want something, wanting to want it, desperately trying to feel the desire that you know is in you somewhere... but you just don't.
It's like being hungry and not wanting to eat. It isn't that you don't need it. If you don't eat, you'll die. Yet you still don't want to. It's not even that you won't enjoy it. I've spent hours walking in circles, starving, surrounded by delicious foods and not wanting to eat any of them. It's painful; knowing that you need something but not wanting it. And there's nothing you can do to make yourself want it. When I'm hungry, I want to want to eat. Really. I want to be able to get rid of that gnawing emptiness in my stomach and renew my energy so that I can continue to perform all the tasks I need and want to perform and of which my life is composed.
Yet all that still doesn't create the desire. We can't force ourselves to want things.
Need doesn't make us want things. Pleasure doesn't make us want things.
Where does it come from?

Tehillim 145:16 -- פּוֹתֵחַ אֶת-יָדֶךָ וּמַשְׂבִּיעַ לְכָל-חַי רָצוֹן

Most translate this passuk, "You open Your hand and satisfy every living thing with its desire," or something like that. There are a few problems with this translation.
First of all the word פּוֹתֵחַ doesn't function as a verb in the context of the sentence, for it lacks a subject. The word פּוֹתֵחַ is the subject itself. It isn't saying "you open" it is calling Gd a פּוֹתֵחַ, an Opener. Similarly, the word מַשְׂבִּיעַ calls Gd 'One who satisfies,' a Satisfier, if you will, or Satiator (which is not a word in English, sorry). Thirdly, the phrase "its desire" appears nowhere in the passuk. רָצוֹן is just a noun; there's no possessive attached to it.

So to retranslate:
"Opener of Your hand and Satiator of every life with desire"

The psalmist isn't praising Gd for giving everything what it wants; he's praising Gd for giving us the wanting.
This is profoundly insightful. First if all, it is inclusive of every life; even animals who have no higher desires, and whose only desires are for their needs, have no desires other than those Gd gives them. He can withhold them just as easily. For those of you who have experienced a shortcoming of desire, you know how debilitating it can be. You can't get your work done, you can't eat.
And then there are the times when it fails you completely. You have no passion, no ambition, no hope, no love or care, no pleasure and no pain. You can barely even motivate yourself to draw breath. They tell you that you can accomplish anything you want, and if you really want it nothing can stand it your way.
But you don't want. Yet you have to keep going, because when man is broken down to his most raw elements, it's all Gd down there, and you have to trust that His hand will open, and the desire will come.

To all of you out there who are want-less right now, you'll find your wanting again. Gd is in you somewhere, and the whole wide world is in Him. You'll find it again.